After falling down enough, we realize: this is our destiny, to charge with care across the gap between living things. At the deepest level, to ask for help and to give it opens a timeless synapse for life-force to move between us.įrom the Egyptian slave who helped his other up from the mud, to those in the revolution bringing a chunk of bread to the fallen, to you holding me all those years ago when I was throwing up from chemo, to the out-of-work chef bringing the old painter meals on Sunday-such giving is the unbreakable synapse that keeps the Universe going. To offer help exercises the heart and lets generosity flow through our being. To ask for help, we have to admit that we need others, that we are more interdependent than independent. It’s one of the bravest things you can do. As British actress Lily Collins says, “Asking for help is never a sign of weakness. Crossing the bridge of help is what lets us know we are not alone. Sooner or later, everyone will know both sides of this bridge. There are always two sides to the bridge we call help: the calling out and the lifting up. HelpĪs you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others. As if saying I’m sorry exposes our flaws. As if saying I love you leaves us forever at the mercy of those we love. As if admitting we need help is some kind of failure. No one can live without these avenues of authentic connection, though pride and fear keep us from them constantly. And I love you is the synapse between all life. I’m sorry accepts our humanness and makes all repair possible. It returns us to how rare it is to be here at all. ![]() Thank you renews wonder through the lens of gratitude. Help acknowledges that we can’t make it alone, that life depends on the web of relationship. Once truly entering these vows, we are never the same. These are the most reliable doorways for being fully here. They are the utterances: help, thank you, I’m sorry, and I love you. They are simple and always in reach, though they require everything from us. T here are four vows we can practice in any given moment that will return us to what matters, that will return us to ourselves and each other.
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